Isn't he cute? I am biased, of course.
He and I struck a deal: he'll sleep better and longer, and I'll be a happier mama. So far, so good!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
PPD
Today is the day. I've been putting off writing about postpartum depression, because I wasn't sure what to say and how to say it, but I want to share what I've been going through.
The first few weeks of Barrett's life were relatively easy. He slept a lot and I didn't feel like being a mom was very hard.
At about 8-10 weeks postpartum, I started to realize I wasn't myself. I would cry quite frequently, and get angry over little things and at Barrett when he wouldn't sleep. Work (my nanny job) was very overwhelming. I couldn't read a book, or even a long newspaper article because it was too hard to focus on the words. Sometimes I had trouble listening and following a conversation. I was anxious about pretty much everything, and I had no appetite. Around this time, Barrett started regressing sleep-wise. His long stretch got shorter and after that he was up every 2 hours (or less).
Right before Christmas, I went to the doctor. He agreed with my self-diagnosis of postpartum depression and prescribed medication and recommended counseling. It felt so good to discuss it with my family and I got a lot of support from them during the holidays. After I was on the meds for two weeks, I noticed that they were giving Barrett gas pains. He would wake up every night screaming. That was not helping me at all, so I stopped taking them and noticed an immediate difference in his behavior.
I recently quit my job (such a relief not to have to get up at 5 am and pack up a fussy baby!) and started counseling. So far, I really like my counselor, and I feel like she will be a huge help in behavioral (we agreed on no more meds) ways. On recommendation from another ppd mom, I have been taking an iron complex. I feel such a difference in my anxiety and anger issues and I attribute that to the iron and to working out more frequently.
In addition to the sleep deprivation, hormones, and losing a lot of my 'me' time, I think the ppd might be stemming from Barrett's birth. I desperately wanted a natural birth, and I prepared so thoroughly for one. I really did not want a c- section at all. At the time of my decision to go ahead and have one, I felt it was the only option left. Afterward, I questioned myself. Was there something I could have done differently? I feel cheated, sad, and angry at my body for "failing" me. I am trying to work through these feelings and get to a place where I can look at my healthy baby and just be happy that he is here.
My husband has been amazingly supportive through it all. I feel bad for him because Barrett hasn't been taking a bottle, but he will still take him so I can leave the house for a while. The ladies out here have been great too; working out with me, letting me talk things through, and offering to watch Barrett whenever I need them to. All of my other friends and family have been so helpful also, even over the phone. I never thought I would be experiencing something like this. It gives me such an appreciation for the strength of the people who have been through postpartum depression and similar issues.
The first few weeks of Barrett's life were relatively easy. He slept a lot and I didn't feel like being a mom was very hard.
At about 8-10 weeks postpartum, I started to realize I wasn't myself. I would cry quite frequently, and get angry over little things and at Barrett when he wouldn't sleep. Work (my nanny job) was very overwhelming. I couldn't read a book, or even a long newspaper article because it was too hard to focus on the words. Sometimes I had trouble listening and following a conversation. I was anxious about pretty much everything, and I had no appetite. Around this time, Barrett started regressing sleep-wise. His long stretch got shorter and after that he was up every 2 hours (or less).
Right before Christmas, I went to the doctor. He agreed with my self-diagnosis of postpartum depression and prescribed medication and recommended counseling. It felt so good to discuss it with my family and I got a lot of support from them during the holidays. After I was on the meds for two weeks, I noticed that they were giving Barrett gas pains. He would wake up every night screaming. That was not helping me at all, so I stopped taking them and noticed an immediate difference in his behavior.
I recently quit my job (such a relief not to have to get up at 5 am and pack up a fussy baby!) and started counseling. So far, I really like my counselor, and I feel like she will be a huge help in behavioral (we agreed on no more meds) ways. On recommendation from another ppd mom, I have been taking an iron complex. I feel such a difference in my anxiety and anger issues and I attribute that to the iron and to working out more frequently.
In addition to the sleep deprivation, hormones, and losing a lot of my 'me' time, I think the ppd might be stemming from Barrett's birth. I desperately wanted a natural birth, and I prepared so thoroughly for one. I really did not want a c- section at all. At the time of my decision to go ahead and have one, I felt it was the only option left. Afterward, I questioned myself. Was there something I could have done differently? I feel cheated, sad, and angry at my body for "failing" me. I am trying to work through these feelings and get to a place where I can look at my healthy baby and just be happy that he is here.
My husband has been amazingly supportive through it all. I feel bad for him because Barrett hasn't been taking a bottle, but he will still take him so I can leave the house for a while. The ladies out here have been great too; working out with me, letting me talk things through, and offering to watch Barrett whenever I need them to. All of my other friends and family have been so helpful also, even over the phone. I never thought I would be experiencing something like this. It gives me such an appreciation for the strength of the people who have been through postpartum depression and similar issues.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Pink and Blue
Papa puttin' some babies to sleep.
Sad babes.
Layin' around.
Santa hats on Christmas eve.
It was so much fun to see our SC relatives, and we wish we could see them more often!
Friday, January 4, 2013
The best gift
My mom spend hours upon hours going through all of her photo albums and organizing the pictures into albums for each of us kids.
What a blast we had reminiscing with our individual albums.
Thank you, Mom, for these timeless treasures.
*mine even had a few family pictures of my hubby's family! Does puppies ring a bell anyone? :)
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