Yesterday, the secret came out that my mom read our journals when we were kids. What? I was surprised, a little embarrassed, and a little annoyed. I think I would have been more mad if I had found this out 5 years ago, but the older I get, the more I see things from a parents point of view.
She said if she ever felt like there was a serious problem in our lives, thats when she would try to find out what was going on. She would even look in the boys' rooms.
Teens can sometimes have a hard time confiding in their parents, but do you think it is okay to look through their things, their personal thoughts? What would you do if you knew something was really wrong, but your child wouldn't tell you what it was?
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I've been pondering this one.
ReplyDeleteI'm a pretty big respecter of privacy, and I'm fortunate that my kids are still at the age that I know where they are at night and what they are doing. I'm also fortunate in that they are very open with me.
But I know that can change on a dime. If it came to a point where I was concerned about their safety, or if their personality were to change at a rapid speed - I would, of course, first attempt conversation - but if that didn't get anywhere - the protective side of me might search for other avenues.
I think it's hard to say.
I would never do it just to do it - there would have to be a very very very very strong reason for it that I could justify and sleep well with.
I guess my comment got lost.
ReplyDeleteI can't say as I don't have teens yet. My question was that, did it work? Did she get the info she was looking for/needed?
I think I would first rely on my intuition of what was wrong and try have a conversation. But, like I said, I know teens can be a different game. Did your brothers keep journals?
No, we didn't keep journals, but Kurt likes the comic strip Jim's Journals. The rest of us think they are really dumb.
ReplyDeleteDavid
i believe in privacy, but I think I would if I thought my kid had a serious problem and was not confiding in me. If I honestly believed it was the only was to find out and get my child help, I'd probably toss privacy out the window.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I'd be horribly embarrassed if I found out my mom read my journals.
~ann b.
p.s. what do you think you would do?
Well, being the self-proclaimed snoop that I am, I will probably read my kids journals whether I think there's a problem or not. :) Seriously though, as much as I would want to respect their privacy I think its more important to know what is going on in their lives. As mom said, ignorance isn't always bliss.
ReplyDeleteMom claims she read my journal. I know for a fact I never had one ... thank goodness. I was ticked she snooped in our room and found the TV that one time though.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I will read my kids' diary, unless I think there's a problem. However, you'd best believe all phones, facebook etc. is fair game until they're 18.
-Brad
Jocelyn--haha. I will pry be like that too, but hopefully I can resist the temptation!
ReplyDeleteI think while I was in high school-I would have considered it a breach of privacy, but today I sort of understand that they did it to protect us.
I hope my kids write all their thoughts on paper, and not just facebook of texting! Still today, I love reading back at them and seeing how far we have come, or get a good laugh at least.
I think your mom didn't read them for the sole purpose of entertainment..just to protect you! :)
Annika
Jan- I think she did find what she was looking for, and in doing so, realized that kids lie sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI'm still on the fence as to what I would do. Kids write in journals for a reason, thinking their thoughts are in a private place. However, they are still kids, and a parent should know if something bad is happening to them. Like Joce/Mom said, ignorance is not always bliss.
I guess I really won't know until I'm in that situation.
I think it would've benefited all of us to read David's diary when he was growing up, it may have let us understand why he was so different from the rest of us.
ReplyDelete*different is code for cooler in the Salmen household.
ReplyDelete